i'll stay by your side in the afterglow
by alifewithyou
Summary: What a cruel destiny! When she thought herself a heroine in a tragic romance, she never thought it would hurt this much to love and not to be loved. And now, to imagine him marrying someone else. She couldn't bear it; she couldn't stay here in Green Gables. She had to leave as soon as possible.


Anne hadn't slept for two days now. And she had eaten half cookie since yesterday just because Marilla had been all over her forcing her to eat something. She couldn't recall what happened these past days. Well, she didn't even remember how she made to the Blythe's. After all, her last vivid memory was her packing her stuff for the trip to Charlottetown.

She had been delaying her parting for weeks now, in hope of something to happen. What a fool she had been. To think he could actually care for her. What a ridiculous notion. Maybe if she hadn't waited for so long to realize her feelings for him…Maybe he would accept her then. Maybe he would l-No sense. No point of thinking about that now and as she saw Bash arriving in a hurry to her doorstep, she immediately thought he was there to bring the good news. _An engagement_. She cursed herself again for not leaving sooner. She would have to go through the congratulations and wishes for a happy life when all she wanted was to be miserable on her own. What a cruel destiny! When she thought herself a heroine in a tragic romance, she never thought it would hurt this much to love and not to be loved. And now, to imagine him marrying someone else. She couldn't bear it; she couldn't stay here in Green Gables. She had to leave as soon as possible.

Her rapid thoughts were interrupted when she heard Marilla cry in agony. She ran down the stairs and then in a heartbeat, the words _Gilbert _and _very sick_ were heard and then in the next, she was out of the door without looking back. All she could think was that he was unwell, and he needed her. Even if she was there, his fiancé, she would be there too because he was her friend. He was the love of her life even if she wasn't his.

That night had been the worst of her life. She had gone through hell between foster homes and the orphanage, but nothing could ever hurt this much. His cries for help, her name so often in his lips, wondering where she was while she said she would never leave but it was all in vain. He couldn't see her. He was desperate for a hand, for relief of his hallucinations. She tried hard not to cry, to be strong for him and whisper words of comfort, words of love. If only what she felt for him could save him, she would try anything.

So, she stayed at his bedside, reading him stories to calm him down, changing the wet towel on his forehead. Then the morning came and so did the silence. For a second, for a fraction in time, she didn't dare to speak what she thought had happened. But then she saw his chest rise, his calm breathing filling the room. Only then she realized she had been holding her breath too.

Bash and Marilla didn't leave their side, asking constantly for her to rest but she couldn't. What if he needed her? No, she wouldn't leave maybe if his fiancé would come. Bash only answered with the news that she had gone to Europe and no date to return. Could it be? If they were to be married, she wouldn't leave like this. Oh, she wouldn't dare to hope. Her heart was only starting to be happy now that he was getting better. The rest they would see, it didn't matter at this moment.

In the fourth day, Gilbert Blythe opened his eyes. Anne had eaten soup that afternoon and slept a little bit near the window of his room. Her tiredness was winning her finally and now that he was showing so much improvement that even his doctor and professor was impressed, she had even dared to daydream a little, especially to try to understand what could she say to him when he was awake. The time had arrived.

'Anne?' A softly whisper woke up from her nap. She straightened herself up immediately, coming to his bedside.

'Gilbert!' She touched his forehead to find his fever gone, provoking a broad smile on her face. He was awake. He was alive. What happiness she had never felt before. To love him was enough, to see him happy and healthy: what a blessing. She couldn't care for anything else. 'How are you feeling? Do you want me to bring you something?'

'I thought you were gone.' There was hurt hidden in his sentence. Their last conversation hadn't gone so well. Too many accusations and too little comprehension. She had said some things she hadn't meant, and he hadn't said the things he meant. What a couple of fools they were.

'I'm here now and I'm not leaving until you're better, Gilbert Blythe.' She smacked him (softly) in the arm making him chuckle a bit. 'That is for scaring the hell out of me. You have no business on dying, do you hear me?'

'Yes, my lady.'

Their bantering was interrupted by Bash storming throw the door as it always was. Anne went again to the window, hiding the tears which were falling freely in her cheeks. She thanked whoever was above protecting them for bringing him back to his family.

The days passed without any alarmism. Gilbert grew stronger and stronger and that night he ate his dinner by himself. Anne had finished reading him one of her novels. She especially chose the most romantic ones because she knew how foolish he thought of them. He liked to point every defect and conflict the characters could avoid with a little talk between them. Oh, what a fool he was. If he followed his own advice, they wouldn't be here walking on eggshells and talking about book characters instead of their own lives. She closed the book and started to pack her stuff to go back to Green Gables where Marilla awaited her.

'Anne…I'm sorry. For everything.' She looked at him and only saw sorrow in his eyes.

'What do you mean? There's nothing to be sorry about.' She was trying to pretend she didn't know what he referred to. Maybe to their last argument but these things didn't matter anymore. All it mattered is that he was alive.

'I should've known better. You were right. I wasn't in love with Winifred.' Anne didn't want to know how her face looked at her moment. Probably a mess but certainly every shade of red. She could feel her heartbeats in every part of her skin. He didn't love her. He didn't. She could cry of happiness at that moment, but she didn't dare.

'I'm glad…I'm glad you understood what was better for you.' She said politely as if she was talking to a neighbour she hadn't seen in a very long time and not to the man she had dreamed about for years and years.

'No, you don't understand. I knew it. Even at the fair, how stupid I was! To believe myself in love with her.' Anne shivered at his words as the unpleasant memory came and went. It was that day she found out her feelings for him and it was that day she found out he had the same feelings for another girl. How much she had cried, how much she regretted.

'Anne, please look at me.' She did as she was told. 'I hope you can forgive me. Even if it's not today or tomorrow. One day perhaps.'

'There is nothing to forgive, Gil.' He smiled as he heard that familiar name coming through her lips. There was a silence between them, but it was no longer uncomfortable. It was longing. Something unresolved yes but Anne could see the bend in the road already and oh, how much good things she hoped it would bring to them, to their friendship.

'Surely, Anne-girl, you must know…' He paused as he intertwined his hand on hers, kissing it tenderly. 'There could be anyone for me but you.'

Anne's free hand came immediately to her mouth to hide her sob. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Gilbert Blythe in love with her? It couldn't be. She must be dreaming.

'What do you mean, Gilbert?'

'What I mean is that I love you, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert. I always have. I'm sorry I made you doubt it even for a second.'

There was the moment Anne really looked at him. And there it was, the Gilbert she had hated and loved and hated and loved again. The beautiful chin she started to find charming a few years ago. Those eyes with beautiful shades of green and brown and every colour you could find in the woods that surrounded them. They were full of tenderness, kindness, _love_. It was always there even when she pretended she was going insane because no way could he feel the same as she did and still be with someone else. She wasn't wrong, he was her only true love. The instant their lips met, insecure at first but it didn't take them long to find that was how it felt coming home at least, she knew. She wasn't alone anymore. She had Gilbert Blythe. She had become an _'us'_ finally.


End file.
